NFL MVP Prediction!

 

We’re a week away from the NFL MVP announcement, but it doesn’t take a formal presentation to know that it’s between Adrian Peterson and Peyton Manning. The stats are nothing short of incredible: AP finished the season a couple yards shy of the all time rushing record on a team with virtually no quarterback. He’s the downhill runner every GM dreams about- the type that can pick up 4 yards for a first down when everyone in the stadium knows the run is coming.

Peyton on the other hand, had an equally impressive season up in Denver with over 4,600 yards, 37 TDs, and only 11 interceptions- the latter being a stat line that has plagued the gunslinger in the past. And what’s the most impressive part about these superstars and their achievements? Both came 1 year after potentially career-ending injuries that left the football world wondering if 2 of the game’s best would ever play again. With that being said, if you don’t think Peyton Manning deserves the MVP, you’re an absolute lunatic and should probably have yourself committed. Like now.

BarstoolSports.com writer, Jake Strasser and I are in complete agreement. We both feel that in any other year, AP is a clear favorite, but 2012 was different. Let’s cut the raw stats out of the equation. Numbers are nice, but it goes deeper than that. Sure, Peterson had a year for the history books, and singlehandedly brought his team to the playoffs in a season where the only other offensive threat, Mr. Migraine himself, Percy Harvin spent 7 games on the bench. That’s all nice and impressive, but Peyton did the same exact thing, only in his case, it was with a brand new team.

First of all, NFL moves of this magnitude are rare to begin with, but Peyton going from Indianapolis to Denver is one of the biggest we’ve seen over the last couple decades. Coming into a new system is hard for everybody- everybody that’s human that is. Peyton is a freak. Peyton is on another level. Peyton is a man among boys. He didn’t just come into the mile high city and acclimate to the new offense, picking it up as he goes. No, he DOMINATED the system. He recreated the system. He essentially resumed his unofficial role as simultaneous quarterback/offensive coordinator/head coach that he spent years as in Indy. I’m not knocking AP- the guy is an incredible athlete, has great vision, and can read a defense as well as any running back in the league. But when you have a guy like Peyton who can come into a brand new system and make it his own the way he did, all other candidates go out the window.

One more thing: Peyton Manning is 36… Thirty. Six. Did you say 26? No…36, as in a couple years away from a Just for Men, Touch of Grey endorsement deal. AP is a ripe 27 year-old in the prime of his career. Granted, AP’s ACL injury was just as severe as Peyton’s neck issue, but it’s much easier for a young, spry athlete like AP to get back into playing shape than a guy who has been alive for the majority of 5 decades. If for no other reason, give the MVP to Peyton as a lifetime achievement award like the thing Jody Foster just won at the Golden Globes. Let’s just hope Peyton’s speech is about 40 minutes shorter.

Result of Marrying Liquor Bottles

Ever look up and catch your bartender marrying liquors?

Now I'm Not too sure of what's in my drink anymore. Is it really Belvedere?

Questionable bartenders... If they don't at least try to sneak it, they must have been trained by some schmuck who's like "just combine 'em if there is room."

If they do succeed in hiding the actual marrying process, good luck, you better educate your taste buds on your favorites, especially if you are paying the price for drinking top shelf.

I'm sure it's happening out there with the purpose of keeping the bar stocked and organized, however its just wrong. I'm also sure it's happening to a point that perhaps your trip to Cancun and the amazing record you broke of 15 Patron shots were indeed good ol' Sauza and you were over charged because you are young and dumb and don't have a clue about your cocktail of choice. Whether for profit and/or organization, don't combine bottles of alcohol unless you are mixing a fresh batch, perhaps "bottom of the barrel" (free house shots) for your lucky guests.

I Am So Sick of the Instagram Generation! GoPro!

  You’ve all seen it. Every single time you log onto your Facebook, scroll through your Twitter feed, or see what’s happening on Instagram. It’s laughing right in our faces! Listen, you all know me. You know I love reaching out on these social media sites, but when it comes to posting pictures, I’m a BIT of a stickler for quality. No idea where it came from… maybe it was my parents always getting me the top-of-the-line Polaroids when I grew up, but for whatever reason, I take photography seriously. 
 

It hit me at the CES convention (amazing time, by the way!!) when I laid eyes on a gorgeous new GoPro. Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you the ins and outs of photography because A. I don’t know them all and B. I’m well aware that I am not an authority figure in that field. However, it makes my blood BOIL when people take pictures with whatever stock equipment their smart phone comes with, tinker with it on Instagram for 12 seconds, and then post it as ART! Taking a picture of a mountain and adding the black and white filter is not art; stop saying it is!

 

So no, I’m not some professional photographer, and I’m not trying to pass myself off as one. But if I’m going to take the time and energy to snap a picture I’m proud of, I’m doing it with my GoPro, not my phone. Have some pride in your work, people! I swear, from here on out, I’m sending every single person I see bragging about an “artsy” cat picture on Facebook a direct link to the GoPro!!!

I Think I Won Christmas!

Well, you can stop searching, folks. I officially am the greatest Christmas gifter of all time. See, we have this rule at my bar that we’re only allowed to spend $10 on each other’s gifts. What am I supposed to get for $10? I guess I could have gone with something boring and generic like a 6 pack of beer, but there’s zero meaning behind that. I could have gone over-the-top and packaged 40 gumballs for each coworker, but let’s be honest; pink is the only good flavor,so the other 32 or so pieces would have been a waste.

So what’s the answer? Oh I don’t know, how about some real life “Like/Disklike” buttons? Now, I’ve come up with some pretty good ideas in my life. To this day, I still believe that I was the one who made up “BRB” on AIM back in the day. But I can tell you with 100% certainty that buying these “Like/Dislike” buttons was the best decision of my life. All my coworkers and I have been going around stamping “Like” or “Dislike” on literally everything. Phones, clothes, SKIN… you name it.

The search is over, people. JJ Mason is your 2012 Christmas gifting champion!

Bartender Gift Ideas!

Rangers Dodge a Huge Bullet Named Edwin

Happy freaking holidays! 4 years for $52 million was the best signing non-signing the Rangers have made this off season. Well that was close! I just don’t believe that this is the going rate for a pitcher of his caliber. Okay fine, he threw a no-hitter… on like 200 pitches! Give me that many pitches and a $52 million contract, and I guarantee I’ll get you a no-hitter this holiday season. Somehow, someway, for that money, I’ll get you your results.

But seriously, with rumors that the Rangers were seriously considering the wild fire-baller, I was THRILLED to hear that he will be disappointing Cubs fans for the next 4 years instead. Now let’s get one thing straight: Edwin Jackson will give you those nights of dominant pitching performances. There will be times where he channels his skills and hones his unpredictability, resulting in a lights out start. But these will be few and far between. The Rangers don’t need to rely on wildcards like Jackson. We have proven talent, and unlike the Cubs, we are not in a position where we need to take a giant risk in an attempt to reach the Promised Land of Christmas miracles. Once again, laying off Jackson may prove to be the best decision the Rangers make this offseason. Now I would love to see them use that money elsewhere.

The Rangers CANNOT lose Josh Hamilton

 

The Rangers CANNOT lose Josh Hamilton. 6 years, 7 years, hell, I’d pay him for 20 years. The man is completely justified in seeking his long-term contract; letting any other team sign him would be a catastrophic mistake for the Rangers. This team revolves around Hamilton. Plain and simple, we’ve had a nice few years of deep October success, and while the pitching has been nice, anybody who’s watched more than a couple games will tell you it’s the offense. This juggernaut of a lineup instills fear into the minds of opposing pitchers, but the machine doesn’t run without #32 right in the middle of it.

Do your remember the years of irrelevance? They weren’t that long ago, so you probably should. Or how about the late 90s/early 2000s when we would make the playoffs with guys like Kapler or Palmerio, but fall at the hands of a team like the Yankees in the first round? Josh Hamilton is the difference maker. Even when he’s cold, his name alone protects this lineup.

I know he has his off-field issues, but don’t we all? Okay, I guess we don’t all get into the same sort of trouble he does, but everyone has their weaknesses. Just look at the numbers- have his vices really affected his production? Not for one second. When he’s in a groove, he’s the best lefty bat in the league, and he can singlehandedly carry a team for weeks at a time. Let’s just hope that team is the Rangers for the next 6-7 years.